Daylight mourners

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(Illustration by #Filipe Lima #gazetadopovo Brasil-obituário)

What I love about Kant is that he is TRVE.

Some people that follow my musical work, are probably more familiar with this neologism which was and is used still to draw a line between bands which kept it “true” to their roots  and others who “evolved”.  We could go and wonder about the fascist use of this tag by many in the Metal scene but today is not about music at all.

It is about being a container, a receiver.

Other people who ever sat at therapy and were feeling the weight of the world on their shoulders might be more familiar with this word and what it means in a relationship. We could also go and explore deeper the unbalanced pieces of marriage and being together, but not tonight.

This is about people who contain too much and don’t know how to get rid of other people’s luggage: The daylight mourners

All of us might have been there, containing too much, when we could barely get rid of our own ghosts and get up in the morning. Some of us might know that this a “phase” that eventually thins out; others might not have that knowledge as the weight was too much for them carry and they went separate  ways. But this is not about couples, not this time.

This is about people who go beyond their own emotions and seem to carry not only their own weight in guilt and grief, but add their relatives’ and friends’ (close or not, depends) pain to the lot.

Some of us have been there and got out. We had our ways but the working principle was for sure to take better care  of ourselves and our kids and wives and really close friends first, yes by this particular order.

Others haven’t. And this is when I introduce “we all have a friend” that… And if you do you will probably like to read on.

Before I link Kant out, I must tell why I think he was true (let’s skip that naughty V shall we?). I believe his philosophy was really pure. Another difficult word. God damn politics! But true and pure in the sense that his direction was clear, his object defined and he never really stepped out of a way he was building, not devoid of back and forth.

When he derived into moral, after gnose followed Ontology, he focused on the role of the Providence while safeguarding mankind’s responsibility within freedom. One of Kant’s principles about “doing good”, his true moral and critical judgement, presented us with a notion that the Church itself failed to impose, starting from the very peak of their hierarchy and saints. Even tough Kant was not a religious critic like, for instance, Feuerbach, he was sensitive enough to the role of Men in “God’s labor”. One of his most interesting analysis deals with the expectation of a return , of a reward from the object of our good will. In his theory, Kant talks  instead about a rewardless giving. He takes it further and states that the simple notion of having something in return for kindness maculates the principle and the good doing fails morally. Only an uninterested action counts.

That brings me back to our friends, the heavy loaders, the mourners. What goes in their mind is for sure reward for taking the suffering. A lot of times that doesn’t happen and it adds to the pain. Even when it happens, it will never be enough. They calculate the debt themselves.  Again, they suffer. Also why do they do this, how do they go on with their lives like this. Well,in fact, they don’t. They freeze except for  the next step, another philosophical flaw: they get into moralising and pointing fingers. The people they snatch the pain from are now to blame for both of their miseries , “if they had listen to me in the first time”. A mess.

Letting go is easier said than done. Sometimes we can be greedy with our friends’ lives and problems. Nevertheless I believe life and the works of philosophers and other mind explorers can give significant clues to help the decision of looking inside first before you regard what’s out there.

We might have a talent for containing pain but we do have limits. To get to know them would make Kant proud.

 

#pain #painofthers #empathy #immanuelkant #theportuguesewolf #fernandomoon #moonspell

 

 

Daylight mourners

3 thoughts on “Daylight mourners

  1. One of the most interesting articles I have read so far. I know a bunch of people living as daylight mourners, and somehow, I can relate with their feelings, as I almost fell into this endless spiral. I remember a quote from Ovid (43 BC-17/18 AD) I used as a motto in order to justify the weight I was carrying inside of me: “Perfer et obdura; dolor hic tibi proderit olim.” (Be patient and tough: one day this pain will be useful to you). Yes, but how long can a human heart bear pain and sufferings? Though empathy is a greatest virtue, which all of us should improve, one must learn how to let go when it’s time. Maybe that is the lesson which Ovid wanted to impart in his work; after you took up all the problems of the world, one day you will learn how to protect yourself from them.
    Yes, I think that a little bit of philosophy would make our lives better; such a pity it is not fashionable to study it in our worthless society.
    Keep on doing your awesome work,
    Ester

    Like

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